In case you are not familiar with this term, resilience can be defined as:
“The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.”
Resilience is one of those things you are expected to have, but unfortunately it’s not that easy.
People think that it’s easy to be resilient, that in the face of adversity you can just stay calm and get through it.
If this pandemic has taught us anything, is that we are not as resilient as we thought.
The good news is: we can be.
It’s funny because in this week alone, in fact on the same day, I’ve had two resilience workshop trainings!
Clearly this is a trending topic, and one that is clearly appropriate for these times.
This is particularly relevant if you are an entrepreneur, where you are always facing challenges.
In this blog I want to share 5 ways that I’ve learnt on how to train yourself to be more resilient:
Lesson 1: Perspective
It’s important to have ‘perspective’ in order to be resilient, to see the same situation from different angles.
One of my favourite quotes that I picked up on this lesson is:
“Focus on the things you can change and accept the things you can’t”
An example of this is the weather; we always seem to worry about whether it is going to rain over the weekend or not; that if it rains, our plans will be ruined.
Why do we even think this way?
We should accept the fact that it might rain and control that which we can do: bring an umbrella.
Let’s use this same principle in other areas of our lives and focus on those aspects that we can control.
Another thing we tend to do when we come up with an idea is to consider ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen?’
This usually leads us thinking of the worst possible thing and then end up forgetting about the idea.
However, have you ever stopped and asked yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen?
By thinking in this way, we expand our thoughts to think of not only the bad but also the good.
This way, you can make a much more informed decision having considered both perspectives.
And consequently, by expanding your perspective, you also expand your resilience.
Lesson 2: Emotional Intelligence
Another aspect to improving your resilience is to increase your ‘emotional intelligence’.
This means how you react to difficult or challenging situations.
You may be familiar with the concept of ‘the change curve’.
This is a graph that shows the different stages that we go through when we encounter change.
This usually starts off with denial, followed by guilt and anger, which eventually leads to bargaining, chaos and even depression.
Eventually, we bounce back up and begin to feel resignation, openness, acceptance and even encouraged and involved.
If you haven’t come across this concept before I would encourage you to read more on it.
Unless you are emotionless, there is no doubt that you will experience most if not all these emotions when you first experience change, as I know I have many times.
However, the rate at which you bounce back depends on your emotional intelligence.
By being aware of this concept and being aware of your emotions, you can actively make an effort to either not dwell too much in this depressed state or avoid this trough all together.
By increasing your emotional intelligence, you stand a better chance at improving your resilience.
Lesson 3: Connections
Another crucial aspect of improving your resilience will depend on your connections.
What I mean by this is your network of people you can turn to in times of difficulty.
This could be your partner, family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, etc.
This is also related to the area of emotional intelligence.
When you experience difficulty, you may be able to deal with it internally and move on.
However, for most people, that is not enough.
You need to share this experience with others so that you can deal with this situation externally.
“Support from others is the key to resilience”
Not only that, but something interesting that I learnt is that:
“Supporting others boosts your own resilience”
I guess it’s along the same idea where giving not only makes the receiver happy, but also the giver!
Supporting others during their challenges not only increases their resilience but also yours.
Make sure you have supportive connections on hand that you can turn to for support.
In doing so, you have a better chance of improving your resilience.
Lesson 4: Purpose, Values & Strengths
Another aspect to improving your resilience is related to your purpose, values and strengths.
In other words, when something goes wrong, what positive thing can you learn from it?
Is this your natural way of thinking or do you only focus on the negative aspect?
It’s easy to just focus on the things that went wrong and to blame yourself or others.
However, this will by no means boost your resilience.
You need to see the positive and the learning opportunity in every failure.
Doing so is how you increase your resilience, and this is will help you to keep trying.
Resilient people are also aware of their strengths and play to them.
Don’t know what your strengths are? Think of what other people come to you for help for.
Still struggling? Ask your closest people what your strengths are. They’ll be able to tell you!
Also, be clear on your purpose and values. This is will help you decide what decisions to take.
Did you achieve the result you wanted? No. But did you stick to your purpose & values? Yes.
Even if you don’t achieve the result you wanted, as long as you maintain your purpose and values, then that’s ok. There is always the next opportunity.
This is what will more you more resilient in the long run.
Lesson 5: Managing Physical Wellbeing & Energy
This one may seem obvious, but you will not improve your resilience if you do not take proper care of yourself, not just mentally but physically.
For some reason, very ambitious or stressed people seem to think that if they just skipped lunch they’ll be able to get the task done quicker or if they spend more time in front of their screen they’ll be more productive.
This is simply not true.
One of the easiest ways to be more resilient is to take care better care of yourself.
This means eating and drinking well, sleeping well, exercising regularly and reducing screen fatigue.
By doing so, you will actually feel more positive, and by feeling more positive, you’ll actually attract more positivity into your life!
One of my favourite phrases from this lesson is:
“Take time to sharpen your saw”
This is a phrase used when cutting down trees, where by taking the time to sharpen your saw every so often, you’ll actually cut more trees and faster.
However, taking breaks doesn’t just mean during the day, but during the week, month and year, also known as ‘holidays’.
By taking time to ‘sharpen your saw’, you will end up being more resilient.
Conclusion
These are my 5 steps to increasing your resilience in these challenging times.
As I mentioned earlier, resilience is a key characteristic to be able to face the difficulties of life.
Yet for some reason it is rarely discussed or taught in schools.
I enjoyed learning about resilience this week and will definitely by applying these lessons into my own life, and I encourage you to do the same.
Do you have any other ways on being more resilient? Share in the comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts!
